Struggling...

This may come as quite a shock...but I am struggling with this program...and life in general...at the moment...Most of you know that I love studying...I love it to the point that I would enroll in college just to learn new things..for no other reason than they sound interesting...I am a nerd and embrace it...

So now that "They" have given me an assignment which I would normally love...I have a complete lack of initiative...I have no desire to research...no desire to write...no desire to argue my point of view...

I know! I don't want to write an academic paper that argues my point of view!

Pick your jaws up from the floor...

"WHAT HAS HAPPENED?", you ask...

I don't know...

"Well what do you want to do?"...

I want to check out of school and for the first time in my life do nothing...NOTHING...

I don't want to worry about who I'm going to be when I grow up...I strongly suspect that I am that person already...

I don't want to worry about grades and how my life is being measured by others through hours of argument and paper writing...you know all the stuff I used to love...

I don't want to look around and worry about what people think of me...I suspect they'll think what they want whether or not I look around...

And I really don't want to write because I HAVE to...I want to write because I WANT to...I don't want to write something that will prove to "them" that I am a thinking being...I know I am...

That's all I do is think...

Maybe that's my problem...people who clearly don't think about anything seem relatively happy...look at the Hollywood elite

That's IT!...

I'm going to stop thinking about things that I am not interested in...I don't care...

What do you think?...

Right decision?...

Well it worked for about 10 seconds...

I'll have to try harder next time...