Update

In my class this week we have learned a variety of helpful and mind boggling things. On Tuesday we learned that when radio-collaring sage grouse, the males are fitted with backpacks. Why backpacks instead of collars? Well, that's simple. During mating season, the males puff out their throats and make a drumming sound to attract females. I've always had a thing for drummers...so I see why this technique works so well....so if they, the scientists, would put a normal radio collar on the males, they wouldn't be able to drum....and that would be bad...all those female groupies would have to find new mosh pits to visit. Although I don't know if the complete nerdiness of the little backpack really helps with attracting females...and it really doesn't help that the backpack is powered with a small solar panel..."Hey Chicky, check out my nifty backpack...it's solar powered you know"....I suppose that line would work with all the green chicks out there...and there are a lot of those in the valley to be sure...but does it help with overall popularity at mating time? I'll have to ask the scientists...I'm "The Lit Major"...so they expect random questions from me anyway...

On Wednesday we learned that Pronghorn hate fences and freak-out whenever they encounter one they can't crawl under...yes Antelope crawl under fences they don't jump...they have evolved into one of the fastest land mammals but apparently they haven't figured out how to jump over things...hey, why jump...crawling is so much easier...unfortunately the fence of choice amongst private landowners in Wyoming is barbed wire...which is not a fun thing to crawl under...so the Fish & Wildlife Service is trying to change the Wyoming love of barbed wire to a more antelope friendly, straight wire...at least on the bottom...

Also on Wednesday we learned about the natural gas boom happening across much of the west...apparently Wyoming has enough natural gas to power 12.5 million homes for 20 years...which sounds like a lot until you realize that that number is roughly a third of the population of California...so after destroying the Wyoming Mesa...natural gas companies can help 1/3 of the population of California stay comfortably temperature-controlled for twenty years...do more math...which I hate normally anyway....and you will find that this amount of natural gas will not last us long as a whole and will definitely destroy the land from which it came....Now many of you are rolling your eyes, thinking that the Tree huggers have converted me...but I assure you that this is a big deal...the rigs they move onto the drill sights are gigantic....and I don't use that word lightly....GIGANTIC...and they're mobile. So, every three months or so they deconstruct the whole thing and move it to another drill sight. I'm telling you that this is truly mind-boggling! It would be like moving a ten-story building...although the drill rigs look more like something you built with and erector-set...every three months...and what's left of the sagebrush after they drill is tragic. Now I used to think that Sagebrush was everywhere and not at all necessary until I was faced with the sight of it being bulldozed. Did you know that Sagebrush is really very fragile and grows very slowly....so once it's disturbed it takes decades to re-grow...decades! So faced with all of this information I am feeling quite conflicted. I like grilled steaks and a warm house...but I also like wild animals and wide open spaces untouched by man...I guess those are things I never thought I would have to choose between...but now I'm not really sure what I would do if faced with the choice...a difficult thing to think about, but there it is....I'll get off my new soap box...

The final thing I have learned this week is...skis are the devil and they want me dead...well if not dead...maimed. On Monday and Tuesday they waged a war with the help of the Sagebrush. first it was the dash and grab tactic in which, while I was dashing through the snow, the Sagebrush would try to grab my poles. This of course would leave me horribly unbalanced, and send me in to a flailing scuffle...as you know, this tactic was unsuccessful and I remained standing. On Tuesday the Sagebrush went undercover with its covert, "Sage Bombing"...once again it was unsuccessful. So on Wednesday, when all of its tactics had failed, the Sagebrush turned control over to Snow Pack and Topography. The combination was horrific and successful. They managed to pull me down...repeatedly. I have waved my white flag...I will not put skis on my feet again...there is nothing fun about falling down and not being able to get up from flat ground...every time I put my hand down to stand back up I would sink to my shoulder in snow...try standing up without using your hands...go ahead try it...lay on your back with brooms tied to your feet (brooms=skis)...and try to stand up without using your hands...not so easy is it?...

Now stop laughing and turn off your computer...that way I can rest comfortably knowing that we are conserving energy...and the Sage grouse, with its little backpack, can live to drum another day...